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Now, I hide my journal, unwilling to share and guarding my feelings jealously, wishing I could simply slip away and return to my alien lover and revel in the freedom of showing my true self, the self that he helped me discover, the self that I suspect the others would not understand. Oh, the cravings I now feel, that I suspect have been buried deep within me, pull at me with a yearning that is almost painful. After the first time he took and ravished me, I felt strangely linked, as if he could sense the taboo desires within my breast that, once awakened could not, cannot, be put to rest again! I find myself wishing, when I make love to my sweet Emma or with James or, especially, Bull, that they would treat me roughly and take me by force…At night, I have waking dreams, recalling of the feel of Isshu’s tentacles wound around my limbs, pinning me helplessly as he plunged his phallus into my pussy or my bottom, my cries echoing through the chamber. Of me writhing as the mouth-like. It has been very useful in helping us understand our spouses, because Rene would often ask me for a man's perspective of her relationship with Danny and I would ask her for a woman's point of view to help me understand Karen. One evening after a business software training session in a midwestern city, Rene took me to a special place for dinner, to thank me for a big favor I had done for her and Danny and their two kids. I helped them qualify for a loan for a new house and saved them a lot of money by advising them in their negotiations. Rene had requested that I wear a jacket and tie, so I should have realized how she would be dressed, but I was surprised when I met her in the lobby that she was wearing a very beautiful and sexy little black dress that complemented her in every way. "Wow, Rene, you look stunning!" Well, don't get used to it," she laughingly replied, "You know I prefer pants and blouses." It was true that she wasn't a girlie-girl. I'm not exactly a big guy and she.
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